Jorts: Appropriate Sideyard Apparel

Jort (pl. Jorts)- a portmanteau of “jean-shorts”, is a garment worn by women or men that covers the pelvic area, the buttocks, and the upper part of the legs (typically the part above the knee). Jorts are made only from denim.

The distance of the hem on a pair of shorts from the wearer’s knee, is usually an index of how seriously you can take said individual. The closer to the knee cap, the more legitimate the person. As you start to drift up toward the quads or down near the ankles, legitimacy dwindles with every inch. Of course, the previous discretionary statements only apply to khaki shorts.

As the mullet of the pants world, jorts can only signal illegitimacy (see also: sloppy dance floor make-outs, watching for family members on "Cops" or actually having a mullet). Are jorts classier that Daisy Dukes? Hardly, considering they’re just two sides of the same trashy, denim coin. Nevertheless, “jorts” is less clichéd and that’s something. So grab a fizzy drink and show'em your reverse tornado.


Jort with us.
Chike,
The Jester.